The misadventures of Mr. & Mrs. Potatohead

The long journey home

2008-05-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

Good morning everybody! Well you aren't gonna believe what happened! Last night at 2:00 in the morning there was an awful commotion at the door so I got up to check what it was. When I opened the door, there stood Mr. Potatohead. He never looked so good! Sure he was banged up a bit, he had a few bruises and his shoes were wet but he looked soooooo good. I was so happy I almost fainted. I hurried him inside and got him into some warm clothes and we had a cup of tea (well I had tea, Mr. Potatohead had beer) and he told me about his 24 hours on the river. He said he had nearly caught the squirrel, he actually had him by the tail for a second but the squirrel jerked free and Mr. Potatohead slipped and skidded down the steep bank to the river. He said it was the coldest he'd ever been in his life.He said he drifted and swam for quite a ways before he could make his way toward shore. By the time he got ashore he was completely exhausted. He said that when he finally dragged himself out of the water he fell asleep for several hours. Probably about the time everyone was searching and calling for him. Waking somewhat refreshed but still cold and wet he decided to build himself a raft out of old drift-wood he scavenged along the riverbank.He then rode his raft for many miles until it capsized on a rock and once again he was in the river. He managed to get out at a bridge where a main highway crossed so he got up onto it and began hitch-hiking.He said nobody would pick him up until he finally dried off. I guess they didn't want musty old potato smell in their cars. Who can blame them? He finally got a ride with a guy who he claims invited us all on an adventure in a couple weeks! He wouldn't say what it was, it's a surprise, but we're all very excited. Oh! Today Dave and Kim are taking us boating! We're going to spend the night and come home tomorrow. It's all so exciting! Little Pablo is beside himself! Bye for now!

Mrs. Potatohead

Lost on the river

2008-05-28T20:11:00.001-07:00

Hi folks. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened. This morning Little Pablo and I headed down to the river just below where Mr. Potatohead disappeared. It was quite a climb down a very steep hill but we finally got to the bottom and we saw the marks where he skidded all the way to the river. We called and called for him but we got no answer. After several hours of scouring the riverbank we were about to give up when his hat and an empty Corona bottle drifted by in the current. That was so hard to watch. We managed to grab his hat but we found no other sign of him anywhere. Finally we gave up and climbed back up the cliff to the campground. Dave was sad to hear that we had no luck finding Mr. Potatohead and he called Search and Rescue and asked them to send a search party. They did and they floated the river for hours but had no luck either. Finally Dave said it was time to go home and that Mr. Potatohead (if he was still alive) would have to find his own way home. We didn't want to leave him but we finally packed up our stuff and headed out. It was sure a quiet ride home. Pablo sobbed most of the way and I just tried to keep my mind off it by thinking about what Kim wanted done around the house when we got home. I sure hope Mr. Potatohead is OK. I miss him already and he's only been gone 24 hours. I hope he finds his way home. It must be awful being in that cold water all alone. I hope he's OK. I better get going. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Camping in the mountains

2008-05-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened now. Remember how Dave was going to take us boating last weekend? Well it turns out that Kim forgot us at home so we never got to go. We were pretty upset until they announced this weekend that acampin' we would go! We were sooooo excited! Little Pablo was beside himself. We drove for hours and hours deep into the wilderness and finally arrived at our destination and Dave built a nice camp-fire.
We were having such a great time. Mr. Potatohead even befriended a little squirrel and spent all afternoon feeding him nuts and such. It was so much fun. He was really enjoying his new little buddy. We were just marvelling at how he managed to fit so much food in his little belly when he turned on Mr. Potatohead! Just a vicious, unprovoked attack. He knocked him down and proceeded to gnaw on his ear. We were all in quite a panic but finally he scurried off into the bush.Well we've all seen Mr. Potatohead's temper before so you might well imagine what happened next. Yes, he chased that poor little rodent everywhere, up trees, around the camp-ground, and finally through a fence near the river.That was last night. The last anybody saw of Mr. Potatohead he was heading through that fence hollering at the poor little squirrel. He hasn't been back since. I'm really worried now. I hope he didn't hurt himself. Well I better get going. Little Pablo and I are heading out in search of him this morning. Wish us luck. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

A happy family again

2008-05-14T06:44:00.001-07:00

Hi everybody! Well you aren't gonna believe what's been happening. It's been awhile but we finally got little Pablo back and we are so happy. It took a long time and after alot of begging and bribery Pancho finally rallied the troops in Mexico to go after French Frieda and get our son back. The Policia, it appears, felt they owed us all a favor after the false accusations back in Todos Santos in the spring. If they only knew.......Well after a month of investigation and surveillance work they made some surprising discoveries. It seems that her little freak couldn't handle the cold so they snuck Pablo out of Antarctica and back into Mexico where they had planned on living forever in the sunshine off the ransom money they would collect. HA! We sure showed them. After a brief skirmish French Frieda and her little freak were apprehended and little Pablo was returned home to us. They are now rotting in a Mexican Jail. Crime certainly doesn't pay. Now we are looking forward to a summer in the sunny Okanagan.Dave says if the ice is off the lake by the weekend they might take us boating! Woohoo! I think we deserve it after all we've been through. Well I better get going. There's alot to do around here. Bye for now.
Mrs. Potatohead

The more things change..........

2008-04-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. First of all we got home from Mexico and were immediately put to work shovelling snow. That didn't surprise us much because Dave said we had done such a good job on the roof back in March. It stands to reason when you do a good job at something you're probably going to get that job from then on. It's good to keep busy though because I've been so worried about little Pablo and where he ended up. Until yesterday. When the mail showed up there was a two-page ransom demand from French Frieda and her little monster! Now we know what happened to Pablo. She wouldn't say where they were but I think because Mr. Potatohead pulled that Antarctica diversion that's where they might be. Poor little Pablo. He must be freezing. Mr. Potatohead has a plan though. He said that he was going to call up Pancho Vanilla. He said that he and Pancho worked so well together in the past that he believes they can do it again and hopefully get little Pablo back. Also Pancho has some friends on the Mexican Police force who may be able to help find them. I sure hope so. I hope Pancho gets here soon. Poor Pablo. He's just a youngster and he shouldn't have to endure all this. Well, I guess maybe he'll grow up stronger for it. Well I better run. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Home

2008-04-19T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody. Well we made it home. It was sure a quiet flight though. We were so sad leaving Mexico and all our new friends. You aren't gonna believe what happened when we arrived in Canada. We lost Pablo! When it was time to leave Mexico we realized that Pablo didn't have a passport because he was born in Mexico and we never even thought to get him one. We decided it would be ok to just hide him in one of the checked bags. Well we got home and, naturally, the airline lost our luggage. We were frantic but we didn't want anybody to know Pablo was hiding in one of the bags so we had to keep cool. When the airline called yesterday saying they'd found our bags we were elated! Unfortunately the elation didn't last because the bag Pablo was in was empty. I don't know what could have happened to him. I'm sure he'll find his way home soon, he's such a smart boy. I miss him terribly. One good thing about leaving Mexico, though, is the fact that we are free of French Frieda again. Mr. Potatohead left a note on the door saying we had moved to Iceland or somewhere cold like that. That was such a good idea. He is such a smart guy sometimes. Well I better get going. I still have some unpacking to do. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Meanwhile and far away............................

Finally, the beach

2008-04-17T05:36:00.001-07:00

Hi everybody. Well, It's Thursday the 17th today and we have to go back to Canada and you aren't gonna believe what happened. Yesterday Dave took us to the beach! Yes it sounds exciting but let me finish. When we arrived at the parking lot we were sooooo happy! We jumped up and down and kicked sand as we walked down the path that led to the beach. But when we arrived our happiness fizzled fast. There was a big sign....BEACH CLOSED!
Mr. Potatohead and I were heartbroken as we dragged a sobbing little Pablo back to the car. Dave said he was sorry and that he knew of a quiet pool in town if we'd like to go there. Once again we were all so happy! Then off we went singing and dancing but alas, when we arrived, someone had drained the pool and left nothing but green sludge in the bottom. Once again Pablo was upset and Mr. Potatohead and I were helpless to do anything about it. Now I think I just want to go home and forget this Mexican vacation ever even happened. I don't know how we'll give French Frieda the slip but Mr. Potatohead says he has the perfect plan. We'll see. Well I better scram we have to get packed and we have a plane to catch. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Uncomfortable feelings

2008-04-16T08:17:00.001-07:00

Good morning. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened! This morning Mr. Potatohead was up early having a coffee and reading the paper like he does every day. I don't know why, but he says he likes using his beer bottle, even for coffee and water. I'm not sure I believe that but we ARE on holidays so I guess it's only natural to drink a little more than usual.I could hear him laughing at the funnies like he always does. He says he loves how those make believe characters can find themselves in such predicaments. Anyway, he was chuckling away and I heard him gasp. Then silence. I hurried over to him to see what was wrong and there it was, the news headline..."French Frieda released due to lack of evidence." I was mortified! Now her and that little freak are on the loose again! I wonder if we'll EVER be free of them. That would explain how that little monster escaped from the shed! Then I got to thinking....I've had some weird feelings around here the last couple of days. Almost like someone was in the room with me.......I'm sure it's just an over active imagination, only now it's made worse knowing French Frieda is free again. I just hope she isn't too angry about Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla framing her that time. She did deserve it after all she's done. Anyway, on a lighter note, Dave's taking us to the beach this afternoon! Kim says we better make sure our chores are done first though. All I have left is some sweeping so that won't be a problem. The sad part of it all is tomorrow we have to go home to Canada. It seems like this trip has just been one long nightmare. Oh well, today we'll be on the beach and that makes it all worthwhile. I just hope that lousy French Frieda doesn't show up in the meantime to ruin it all. Silly me, I'm sure she won't. I just have trouble staying positive sometimes.Well I better go finish my sweeping. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

A good day gone bad

2008-04-14T07:29:00.001-07:00

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened. Yesterday started out as a wonderful day. Our new friend Maria stopped by for tea in the morning with her little girl. Her name is Juanita and my, how she's grown. She's such a pretty little girl. Well Juanita and Pablo took to each other instantly. They played all morning while Mr. Potatohead checked on that horrid little monster out in the shed. He took him some bread and water and checked that he was well tied. He tried to interrogate him about French Frieda and what she may have up her sleeve but the little creep wouldn't talk so he just left him there and came back in to play with the kids. They all get along so well. After lunch Maria and Juanita left and I cleaned up after everybody while Mr. Potatohead went out to the shed again. When he came back he looked like he'd seen a ghost! I've never seen him so white! He was shaking uncontrollably as he told me what happened. That nasty little monster had escaped! Mr. Potatohead said he KNEW he should have taken him fishing. Now we're worried sick because we don't know where he might be and we're SURE he'll be back looking for revenge. Oh my! Well I better go. I have dishes in the sink.

Mrs. Potatohead.

The transition

2008-04-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened. I'm so shaken I can hardly function. I've never been one to believe in the paranormal but now I'm a believer. I had the most terrifying experience of my life. And it ended with me losing a son. I am so terribly crushed. Apparently we never really had twins at all! And here's how it happened....
Mr. Potatohead and I were keeping close tabs on little Paco because he was becoming such a concern. We were peeking through the keyhole in his door and we saw the most horrendous sight! Smoke started coming up around him and he started uttering the nastiest profanities. Most of it in a deep growl, and in a language we couldn't understand. Then his whole body started twitching! Then he turned bright red, he started salivating, and his eyes started spinning! Then the shaking and twitching started slowing down and his color started to return. And then! And then! Then the smoke started to clear, and out came that horrid little creature of French Frieda's! We were devastated! Absolutely devastated! Mr. Potatohead wanted to tackle him right away but I told him to go find Pancho Vanilla for some help. He agreed and when he came back with Pancho they wrestled the little monster to the floor and tied him up. Then they hauled him into the storage shed where he'll stay until we figure out what to do with him. There's no sense calling the Policia because the bars in the jail are too far apart to hold him. Mr. Potatohead wants to take him fishing. With cement boots. I'm not sure why he would take him fishing so I said no. The cement boots make sense. That way he can't run. We're really stuck for ideas. Well I better run. Kim's hollering for some breakfast. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Disturbing behavior

2008-04-09T08:07:00.001-07:00

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. Paco is really becoming troublesome. I thought he was just being a rambunctious boy but I think it's gone beyond that now. His once humorous pranks and practical jokes have taken an evil twist. He used to laugh when somebody would give Mr. Potatohead a punt because of his kick me signs but look what it's evolved into! Oh my goodness! He's also taken to hurting his brother. I just don't know what makes that boy the way he is but it has to stop. Everybody is scared of him and if Mr. Potatohead tries to discipline him he just laughs. I don't even recognize my own boy anymore. Oh well, I'm sure he'll grow ino a fine young fellow. We just have to encourage him and support him, teach him right from wrong, and he'll be fine. Oh! You won't believe what ELSE happened! French Frieda kept sending emails saying she was out of jail, that we'd better be careful. That worried me so I sent Pancho Vanilla to Tijuana to check out the jail and it turns out she's still there, she's just trying to scare us. He didn't see her little monster, though, which seems strange. Oh, well, at least that horrid French Frieda is safely behind bars. Hopefully for a long, long time. Well, I better run, Pablo is screaming and the lights have gone out. Sheesh! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Paco's worrying us

2008-04-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody. Well you won't believe what happened. I don't believe it myself. Mr. Potatohead took a nasty tumble down the stairs yesterday. I know that's not hard to believe but he claims little Paco pushed him! Paco says he didn't that he actually tried to help when he saw Mr. Potatohead start to fall. I know Paco is no angel but I don't believe for one minute that he would intentionally try and hurt his father! Other than that little episode there's really been nothing that's out of the ordinary. Well, other than the grafitti, that is. He's just being a boy. He is full of harmless pranks and it's really quite funny, but I'm sure glad Pablo is better behaved. Can you imagine if they were BOTH such a handful? I gotta run I smell smoke!

Mrs. Potatohead

Proud Papa

2008-04-04T09:09:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening now. Poor Mr. Potatohead. Those boys are really keeping him occupied. We decided to name them Paco and Pablo. Pablo is quite calm and quiet but that Paco! He's a little prankster and he's into everything. Mr. Potatohead tries to keep him in sight and under control but he has trouble telling them apart. He thinks he's watching Paco play with his toys but then he turns around and there he is up a tree! He gets so frustrated! Finally he went out and bought a couple hats for them so he could tell the difference but now as soon as he turns his back Paco switches hats or just takes them both and throws them over the railing. What a little hellion. He's just like his father was when he was a boy. Always getting into some kind of trouble. Come to think of it Mr. Potatohead is STILL like that! Oh my! I hope Paco out-grows it. Mr. Potatohead wants to take them to the beach but I don't know. That might be a dangerous place for the boys. That Paco is so hard to control. Well I better get going. Kim wants me to make lunch now. Bye for now

Mrs. Potatohead.

Mass confusion

2008-04-03T07:42:00.001-07:00

Hi friends. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. I was going through a book of baby names when there was a knock at the door. I answered it and in rushed a sobbing Mexican lady who said her name was Maria. She said a bunch of stuff in Spanish that I couldn't understand and then grabbed my baby by the legs and started pulling!!!! I couldn't believe it! I had no idea what she was doing and I tried to hang on but I was so scared the baby would get hurt in the tug-of-war that I finally let go. I thought maybe Maria just wanted to hold her or something. She kept talking in Spanish and then she took my baby and ran out the door saying something about coming back. I screamed for Mr. Potatohead but he was still in his depression from the previous day and didn't even seem to care. I was devastated! I cried and cried for a couple hours until there was another knock at the door. I opened it again and there stood Maria with two little Potatoheads!!!! Then I understood. There had been a mix-up in the delivery room and we'd ended up with each others' children! I was so relieved! I was elated, actually, because I'd always felt that something about my baby wasn't quite right. The biggest surprise was when Mr. Potatohead heard what was gong on and got off the couch. His whole mood changed instantly from a deep depression to extreme joy. He mumbled something about Pancho Vanilla and an apology and then it all came to me. He thought Pancho was the father of our baby!!!!! Poor Mr. Potatohead. How he must have suffered thinking like that. He took to the boys instantly and now we're all over-joyed. We had Maria take a few family pictures for us then thanked her for everything and she was on her way. So everything turned out for the best and we ended up with a new friend and twins! What a wonderful ending to a painful day. Now we can start enjoying our Mexican vacation. P.S. Kim said she'll welcome the extra hands around the house and Dave said he might take us to the beach soon. I've never been so happy! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Proud parents

2008-04-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Well you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. I went into labor! Mr. Potatohead got the word and promptly checked himself out of rehab and hitch-hiked home to be with me. He was so cute. A real nervous daddy, I must say. He was pacing around the maternity ward all morning tickling all the new-borns until they started crying and security kicked him out of the hospital. He went home and waited patiently for me to arrive. Finally I came in the door and woke him up on the couch to show him our beautiful new daughter and he flipped!!!! He said "I'm gonna kill that Pancho Vanilla! I knew I couldn't trust him!" Then he charged out of the house in a rage and took off down the street! I don't know what Pancho did to upset him so badly but was he ever mad! He came back about an hour later and didn't say a word, he's been sitting around drinking beer, moping and mumbling to himself ever since. He's just so angry and he won't even look at his daughter. I tried to talk to him to find out what was wrong but he won't talk. He just keeps cursing Pancho. I said we have to name our baby and he said "Why don't you just call her Panchita?" I don't know what he meant by that. I've seen him like this before and I know it won't last. I just wish he'd snap out of it so we can start our new life with our beautiful little girl. Well she's crying now so I'd better go feed her. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Gettin' help

2008-04-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Well' I'm all alone again and you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. Mr. Potatohead and I were lying in bed enjoying some much needed pillow talk when he told me about the French Frieda caper. He said that in actual fact he and Pancho Vanilla DID commit those terrible crimes but he said it didn't really count because they were drunk!!!! I couldn't believe it! Then he went on to say how he and Pancho, while in hiding from the Mexican authorities had spotted French Frieda and her horrible little freak in town. They ended up hatching a plan to hang the whole thing on French Frieda! Now you have to realize that I would never condone such behavior, but because the victim was French Frieda I was torn (for the first time in my life) between right and wrong. After agonizing over it I decided that I couldn't turn Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla in but I would definitely put my foot down about the constant drinking. I told him "Alcohol is no excuse for breaking the law and it has to stop". He sullenly agreed to get help, that he couldn't do it on his own. So the reason I'm alone again is that yesterday after breakfast we went to La Paz and signed him in at Alcoholcs Anonymous. The unfortunate thing is they have to keep him there for a few days to dry him out before they can pronounce him cured. We agreed that it was necessary and that he would be ok there for a few days. It was a little sad coming home all alone but I know it's for the best. Well I better get going, I'm getting some tummy cramps again. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

An unbelievable turn of events

2008-03-31T06:41:00.001-07:00

Good morning friends. You aren't gonna believe what happened! First of all I was admitted to the hospital the other day with tummy pain. I thought I was going into labor but it turned out to be nothing more than stomach cramps from some bad tacos. Then I got home from the hospital to find the Policia at the door wanting to talk to me. They told me they had Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla in custody and they wanted me to go down to the jail! My heart just sank. This was the moment I'd been dreading. I recomposed myself and went down there to find the two masked thugs from the wanted posters staring out from behind bars. I still didn't believe it was my Mr. Potatohead and Pancho so I tore their masks and hats off and you'll never believe who it was! That awful French Frieda and her miserable little brat!!! I had a feeling they'd show up in Mexico and I was right. The blessing was that they were caught by the Policia right away and will spend a long time in a Tijuana jail for their heinous acts. Maybe now they'll leave us alone. Maybe she can try blackmailing some nasty bad guy in jail! HA!!!
Anyways after all that I went home to find Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla there and they were grinning like never before. I was so happy to see them. Now our lives can get back to normal again. I'm sooooo happy! We're all so happy to be reunited. Well, I better go make them some breakfast. They've been through alot and probably haven't been eating very well. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

P.S. Mr. Potatohead says he has something to tell me later.

Maternity Ward

2008-03-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone. You aren't gonna believe what happened. Things are sure heating up around here! Me and Pancho are still laying low but last night I heard that Mrs. Potatohead went into labor! I hated not being there for her so early this morning under cover of darkness I snuck into the maternity ward. I figured it would be safe because the cops wouldn't be there. I looked everywhere but couldn't find her so I went and checked out the new-borns. There were three that looked alot like Mrs. Potatohead but I couldn't really be sure so I just tickled them a little until they started crying, then I heard sirens and I had to bolt. I sure hope Mrs. Potatohead's ok.
Oh!!!!! I almost forgot! Yesterday I got the shock of my lfe! I saw French Frieda in town. It looks like she has another kid! She's the wench that tried to black-mail us a few years ago but failed. I'm almost positive she's up to something again so Pancho and I are devising a plan to thwart any tricks she may have up her sleeve and clear ourselves of recent accusations at the same time. It's brilliant and it won't fail. It CAN'T fail! It better NOT fail! Well I better go hide. I hear sirens again. Bye.
Mr. Potatohead.

What's going on around here?

2008-03-28T03:34:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened. Today I was having a bit of an anxiety attack. I got a note from Mr. Potatohead saying he and Pancho were working on a plan to clear themselves. He says they can kill two birds with one stone. I hope they don't do anything stupid. Things never seem to go quite right for them and I'm afraid it will only make matters worse. Speaking of making matters worse, I got another blackmail letter from French Frieda claiming she had proof to back up her claims that Mr. Potatohead fathered her child. I'm just beside myself! The fellow with her looks like Mr. Potatohead but he has a mustache. Mr. Potatohead has never had a mustache. He hates facial hair! I sure hope she doesn't come to Mexico. Things could sure get ugly. Well I better go do something. I have to keep busy or I'll go crazy with worry. Bye for now. Mrs. Potatohead.

WANTED

2008-03-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened.
Today I went to the post office to check my mail and guess what I saw there? Wanted posters featuring what could be Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla! I don't believe it's them but now the whole town thinks they are common criminals. It's impossible to tell WHO'S hiding behind those masks. I hope they catch the real villains soon so they can come out of hiding. I'm sure they are just laying low until this all blows over.
I better get going, I have to go to the policia and tell them that those two hoodlums aren't who they think they are. Maybe they'll take down the wanted posters if I'm real nice. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Stuck in my head

2008-03-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hi friends. Well you aren't gonna believe what's been happening. Today is not going well. I was cleaning toilets this morning and I couldn't get the vision of French Frieda out of my head. Her and that horrid little creature she claims was fathered by Mr. Potatohead. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she showed up here to ruin our vacation. Not that it's been much of a vacation anyway. I have so much on my mind. Mr. Potatohead is missing along with our friend Pancho Vanilla, the policia are accusing them of countless crimes. What am I going to do?

French Frieda's shakedown

2008-03-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

Hi all. You aren't gonna believe what happened. Things are getting completely out of control now. The Policia are here more often than not trying to find Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla. They are accusing them of all kinds of horrendous crimes from stealing a blackberry to stealing cars and even armed robbery! Everybody knows they would never do those things. Then this morning I woke up to an email from an obviously drunken French Frieda. She's a crude, conniving, and, I must say, homely Potatohead back in Canada. She claims Mr. Potatohead is the father of her illegitimate baby Potatohead. I know this couldn't possibly be true. The truth is she's tried this before and it's never worked. She's always trying to get money from others by blackmailing them with lies and deceit. I don't intend to even respond to her cruel and nasty accusations. We're starting our own family now and we won't let her spoil that. I trust Mr. Potatohead implicitly and I know her accusations aren't true. Well I have to go into town now. Kim says I should start doing the grocery shopping too, just to keep my mind off things. Maybe she's right. Dave says we can go to the beach later but I don't really feel like it. Not right now. Maybe when Mr. Potatohead comes home. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

In hiding

2008-03-23T21:28:00.001-07:00

Hi everybody. You aren't gonna believe what's happening. Things have gotten right out of control here in Baja. A few days ago me and Pancho got drunk and apparently did some bad stuff. The Policia are looking for us and we're scared. We don't dare show our faces in public right now. At least not during daylight hours. We don't know what to do so we're hoping if we keep a low profile it will all just go away. Mrs. Potatohead must be worried sick but we don't dare contact her lest there be an ambush at home. She could probably use some help especially being in her condition (family way). I hope everything settles down soon. Woe is me......
I'm sure happy to have a good friend like Pancho Vanilla. I've gotten to know him quite well and now I know I should never have mistrusted him and Mrs. Potatohead. He is a very upstanding and respectable guy. He is my best friend in the whole world.
Well I better go. We can't afford to stay in one place too long. The cops are everywhere. Bye for now.

Mr. Potatohead

I can't believe what I'm hearing

2008-03-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

Good morning everybody. You aren't gonna believe what happened. I haven't been able to write for a few days because I've been worried sick. Mr. Potatohead and his new buddy Pancho Vanilla went into town the other day and they haven't been back since. I've contacted the hospital and the Policia and nobody'd heard from them as of last night. This morning the Policia were at the door and I almost fainted. They think Mr. Potatohead and Pancho are behind a string of armed robberies and auto-thefts. I told them that wasn't possible. They are good guys. But then I thought about the drinking and the fighting lately and now I'm not so sure. Could they really be capable of such horrible crimes? I know Pancho's reputation is a little rough around the edges but violent? I just don't know what to think anymore. I hope they come home soon so we can clear them of these accusations. How awful!
I better get going I have to find them before the Policia do.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Stop fighting!

2008-03-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

Good morning. How is everybody? You aren't gonna believe what happened. We're doing pretty good this morning but yesterday was kinda rough, although it ended up ok. Mr. Potatohead went and got his bandages off and his ears healed perfectly although his hearing is only about 1/2 of what it used to be. After he got home we were having tea (well, I was having tea, Mr. Potatohead was having beer) when there was a knock on the door. It was my friend Pancho Vanilla. He had just heard that Mr. Potatohead had died in the desert so he was here to pay his respects. Well! You should have seen Mr. Potatohead lose it! I've never seen him like that! He came off his chair like a madman and tackled poor Pancho! What a mess! I had to beat him with my broom to make him stop! I was so embarrassed. Poor Pancho. Finally when I got them separated I made them sit down and talk and before long they were behaving like old friends. I guess Mr. Potatohead was still a little jealous about my dance with Pancho. Anyways, everything worked out and today they're planning a day together. I don't know what they're going to do, I'm just glad they're getting along. Well, I better get going, I'm feeling a twinge of morning sickness. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

He's alive!

2008-03-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hi Everybody! You won't believe what happened yesterday! Mr. Potatohead is alive!! He came home yesterday. Apparently the skeleton in the desert was somebody else! I've never felt so happy in my life. He's a little worse for wear but we're oh so happy. Last night I told him about the baby and he's just beside himself. We hugged and we danced and we snuggled. Happy days are here again. Today he gets his bandages off and everything will be normal again. I'm getting a little concerned about his drinking, though. He's got beer with him all the time. I think that will get better now that he's home and happy again.
Well I better go get him some breakfast. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Missing him

2008-03-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone. Well it's been a couple of days since they found Mr. Potatohead's remains in the desert and I sure do miss him. All I have as a remembrance is his silly old hat. He took everything he owns when he left. Tomorrow he was supposed to get his bandages off and everything would have been wonderful again. I'm so sad. To think he left this world not knowing that he was soon to be a daddy. I hope he didn't suffer. All I do now is cook and clean and try to kill time and take my mind off him. Dave said he'd take me to the beach but it just wouldn't be the same without Mr. Potatohead so I declined. Well I better get going I have toilets to clean. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Discovery in the desert

2008-03-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hi friends. Well I'm sure glad I "found" this blackberry before I left. At least I can communicate. The battery is quite low, though. I think I'm in big trouble now. I've been lost for days. I had no water until yesterday and I've lost my hat. It was the only shade I had. Yesterday I was so happy to find that little oasis in the desert it saved me from certain death. Now I just wish I was home. I miss Mrs. Potatohead. I don't know why I didn't trust her. I know she would never be unfaithful. If I ever make it out of this desert I'm gonna make it up to her. I hope she'll forgive me. I'm so stupid. Woe is me...........

P.S. If I ever get out of the desert I'm gonna kill that Pancho Vanilla

He's gone

2008-03-23T18:19:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I woke up to a note on my pillow. Mr. Potatohead is gone. He wouldn't believe me that my dance and the walk home with Pancho Vanilla was all that happened. Why won't he believe me? I love him. I hope he does some thinking and comes to his senses soon. He's been gone 24 hrs now and I'm a little worried. The police even came by and said they suspect him of stealing the neighbor's blackberry. I hope he did because then he can contact me if he needs to. I wish he'd come home. I have a surprise for him............................

Mrs. Potatohead.

How could she?

2008-03-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody. Today I have a headache. I found out yesterday through the rumor mill that while I was in the hospital on Sunday Mrs. Potatohead was seen cavorting with a dastardly young rapscallion named Pancho Vanilla. What am I going to do? I made a terrible mistake by turning to booze and now I'm paying the price. My head is pounding and I can't think right. I hope I don't do anything I'll regret later. How could she do this to me? I don't know what to do. Woe is me................

Mr. Potatohead

Taco & Belle

2008-03-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. Sorry I wasn't around yesterday but we had big trouble on Sunday. Mr Potatohead made friends with Taco and Belle, a couple neighborhood strays. They seemed really nice at first. That is until Mr. Potatohead started teasing Taco and pulled his tail. My goodness it was horrible. Worse than the cat attack. To make a long story short, Taco attacked and Mr. Potatohead was rushed to the hospital for reconstructive surgery on his other ear, and he didn't get home til late last night. Kim said he better not be doing this on purpose to get out of work. Dave said we might go to the beach when Mr. Potatohead gets better. This trip has been sooooo trying for me. Sunday evening I just couldn't stand it anymore so I went to a Mexican Fiesta. It was nice to relax and have a cool Margarita and just relax a little. I met a nice young fellow there named Pancho and we had a dance then he walked me home. It was so good for me to get out. I just hope Mr. Potatohead doesn't find out. Well I better go sweep the floor before Kim gets up. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Fixin' the car

2008-03-23T17:41:00.001-07:00

Hi all. Well today started out wonderfully. Mr. Potatohead woke up with no pain and in a cheery mood. Dave was heading out to fix the car but Kim said "No, Mr. Potatohead will do it." Dave got him some tools then came in for coffee. We heard a huge bang from outside and I just knew something horrible had happened again. Sure enough. Dave didn't brace the hood open properly and it slammed down on Mr. Potatohead. He seems to be ok, just some bruises but he's grumpy again. I must admit I'm starting to share that feeling. It just seems like things aren't going like we expected for a Mexican vacation. Kim says he can relax for a few hours and recuperate a little but she wants that car fixed by dark as the headlights have to work. Dave says maybe we'll go to the beach one day soon. Well I better go tend to Mr. Potatohead. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

He's home!

2008-03-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hi Everybody. Yesterday was a happy day mostly. Kim made me scrub windows while I waited for Mr. Potatohead to get out of the hospital. Finally he came home. He's kinda grumpy, though, and his equilibrium is off due to his ear injury. I looked after him through the night and then this morning I cleaned the kitchen and made coffee and breakfast for everyone. Mr. Potatohead finally got up so I helped him down the stairs and fed him. I sure hope he cheers up soon. The doctors say they'll take the bandages off in a few days and he should be fine. Kim says she hopes he can hear because he sure didn't listen before. She's such a slave driver. Dave has to put new bulbs in the headlights on the new car but Kim says Mr. Potatohead will do it. She sure works us hard. Oh well, it's warm here, at least, and Dave still says he'll take us to the beach soon. Well, I have to go now. The garbage has to be taken out. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Minor problems

2008-03-23T10:45:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone. Well we arrived safely in Mexico but were promptly put to work cooking and cleaning. We should have known. Then to make matters worse, Mr. Potatohead was mauled by a vicious Wild Baja Mountain Cat. It was such a frightening experience. He's in the hospital now while the doctors try to reconstruct his ear. They say he'll be home in a couple days. They say he'll have a 50/50 chance of hearing out of his left ear again. I sure hope he's ok. He's scared to death of hospitals (and cats). Dave says they'll take us to the beach one day when his ear is healed. That'll be fun. Uh-oh, I gotta go, the dishes are piling up and Kim's freaking out.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Off to Baja

2008-03-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! Well we made it to sunny Mexico! Woohoo! We had alot of fun flying. The nice pilots even let us ride in the cockpit! They said we could fly the plane but we declined because we didn't really know the way and we didn't want to get lost with all those people relying on us to get them to Baja. Mr Potatohead drove the handicap cart around the airport a couple times too! This is going to be soooo much fun. Today we are going to La Paz to buy a car. Maybe Dave will let us drive it once in awhile. Well we better get going. Bye for now.

The Potatoheads.

A previous Mexican vacation

2008-03-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Well Mrs. Potatohead just reminded me of the last time we went to Mexico. We were swimming in the beautiful Pacific Ocean when a rogue wave came along and almost drowned us! Were we ever lucky! Good thing we float because the wave washed us about a half a mile inland where we were able to cough up the nasty sea water. I hope that doesn't happen again this year! I sure wish she hadn't reminded me. Now we're a little nervous about our trip. Oh well, I'm sure that was a once in a lifetime thing. Oops! Gotta go! Somebody's coming! Bye for now.

The Potatoheads

Hatin' it here

2008-03-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Well we finally had a chance to write. Ever since we were dropped off here with all the other potatoes all we've been allowed to do is work. First they made us show them where all the potatoes were hidden and it seemed like we were getting the blame for everything that goes on around here. Even the snow. But today Dave and Kim surprised us. It turns out they are planning another trip to Mexico and we get to go with them! WOOHOO! No more winter! Only 20 more sleeps! We just hope they don't make us do all the work there too. Dave took a picture of us shovelling the roof off the other day so we thought we'd show you how hard we work around here. Well we better get going. Kim's hollering for us to do the dishes. Bye for now.

The Potatoheads.