The more things change..........

Good morning everyone. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. First of all we got home from Mexico and were immediately put to work shovelling snow. That didn't surprise us much because Dave said we had done such a good job on the roof back in March. It stands to reason when you do a good job at something you're probably going to get that job from then on. It's good to keep busy though because I've been so worried about little Pablo and where he ended up. Until yesterday. When the mail showed up there was a two-page ransom demand from French Frieda and her little monster! Now we know what happened to Pablo. She wouldn't say where they were but I think because Mr. Potatohead pulled that Antarctica diversion that's where they might be. Poor little Pablo. He must be freezing. Mr. Potatohead has a plan though. He said that he was going to call up Pancho Vanilla. He said that he and Pancho worked so well together in the past that he believes they can do it again and hopefully get little Pablo back. Also Pancho has some friends on the Mexican Police force who may be able to help find them. I sure hope so. I hope Pancho gets here soon. Poor Pablo. He's just a youngster and he shouldn't have to endure all this. Well, I guess maybe he'll grow up stronger for it. Well I better run. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Home

Hi everybody. Well we made it home. It was sure a quiet flight though. We were so sad leaving Mexico and all our new friends. You aren't gonna believe what happened when we arrived in Canada. We lost Pablo! When it was time to leave Mexico we realized that Pablo didn't have a passport because he was born in Mexico and we never even thought to get him one. We decided it would be ok to just hide him in one of the checked bags. Well we got home and, naturally, the airline lost our luggage. We were frantic but we didn't want anybody to know Pablo was hiding in one of the bags so we had to keep cool. When the airline called yesterday saying they'd found our bags we were elated! Unfortunately the elation didn't last because the bag Pablo was in was empty. I don't know what could have happened to him. I'm sure he'll find his way home soon, he's such a smart boy. I miss him terribly. One good thing about leaving Mexico, though, is the fact that we are free of French Frieda again. Mr. Potatohead left a note on the door saying we had moved to Iceland or somewhere cold like that. That was such a good idea. He is such a smart guy sometimes. Well I better get going. I still have some unpacking to do. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Meanwhile and far away............................

Finally, the beach

Hi everybody. Well, It's Thursday the 17th today and we have to go back to Canada and you aren't gonna believe what happened. Yesterday Dave took us to the beach! Yes it sounds exciting but let me finish. When we arrived at the parking lot we were sooooo happy! We jumped up and down and kicked sand as we walked down the path that led to the beach. But when we arrived our happiness fizzled fast. There was a big sign....BEACH CLOSED!
Mr. Potatohead and I were heartbroken as we dragged a sobbing little Pablo back to the car. Dave said he was sorry and that he knew of a quiet pool in town if we'd like to go there. Once again we were all so happy! Then off we went singing and dancing but alas, when we arrived, someone had drained the pool and left nothing but green sludge in the bottom. Once again Pablo was upset and Mr. Potatohead and I were helpless to do anything about it. Now I think I just want to go home and forget this Mexican vacation ever even happened. I don't know how we'll give French Frieda the slip but Mr. Potatohead says he has the perfect plan. We'll see. Well I better scram we have to get packed and we have a plane to catch. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Uncomfortable feelings

Good morning. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened! This morning Mr. Potatohead was up early having a coffee and reading the paper like he does every day. I don't know why, but he says he likes using his beer bottle, even for coffee and water. I'm not sure I believe that but we ARE on holidays so I guess it's only natural to drink a little more than usual.I could hear him laughing at the funnies like he always does. He says he loves how those make believe characters can find themselves in such predicaments. Anyway, he was chuckling away and I heard him gasp. Then silence. I hurried over to him to see what was wrong and there it was, the news headline..."French Frieda released due to lack of evidence." I was mortified! Now her and that little freak are on the loose again! I wonder if we'll EVER be free of them. That would explain how that little monster escaped from the shed! Then I got to thinking....I've had some weird feelings around here the last couple of days. Almost like someone was in the room with me.......I'm sure it's just an over active imagination, only now it's made worse knowing French Frieda is free again. I just hope she isn't too angry about Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla framing her that time. She did deserve it after all she's done. Anyway, on a lighter note, Dave's taking us to the beach this afternoon! Kim says we better make sure our chores are done first though. All I have left is some sweeping so that won't be a problem. The sad part of it all is tomorrow we have to go home to Canada. It seems like this trip has just been one long nightmare. Oh well, today we'll be on the beach and that makes it all worthwhile. I just hope that lousy French Frieda doesn't show up in the meantime to ruin it all. Silly me, I'm sure she won't. I just have trouble staying positive sometimes.Well I better go finish my sweeping. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

A good day gone bad

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened. Yesterday started out as a wonderful day. Our new friend Maria stopped by for tea in the morning with her little girl. Her name is Juanita and my, how she's grown. She's such a pretty little girl. Well Juanita and Pablo took to each other instantly. They played all morning while Mr. Potatohead checked on that horrid little monster out in the shed. He took him some bread and water and checked that he was well tied. He tried to interrogate him about French Frieda and what she may have up her sleeve but the little creep wouldn't talk so he just left him there and came back in to play with the kids. They all get along so well. After lunch Maria and Juanita left and I cleaned up after everybody while Mr. Potatohead went out to the shed again. When he came back he looked like he'd seen a ghost! I've never seen him so white! He was shaking uncontrollably as he told me what happened. That nasty little monster had escaped! Mr. Potatohead said he KNEW he should have taken him fishing. Now we're worried sick because we don't know where he might be and we're SURE he'll be back looking for revenge. Oh my! Well I better go. I have dishes in the sink.

Mrs. Potatohead.

The transition

Hi all. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened. I'm so shaken I can hardly function. I've never been one to believe in the paranormal but now I'm a believer. I had the most terrifying experience of my life. And it ended with me losing a son. I am so terribly crushed. Apparently we never really had twins at all! And here's how it happened....
Mr. Potatohead and I were keeping close tabs on little Paco because he was becoming such a concern. We were peeking through the keyhole in his door and we saw the most horrendous sight! Smoke started coming up around him and he started uttering the nastiest profanities. Most of it in a deep growl, and in a language we couldn't understand. Then his whole body started twitching! Then he turned bright red, he started salivating, and his eyes started spinning! Then the shaking and twitching started slowing down and his color started to return. And then! And then! Then the smoke started to clear, and out came that horrid little creature of French Frieda's! We were devastated! Absolutely devastated! Mr. Potatohead wanted to tackle him right away but I told him to go find Pancho Vanilla for some help. He agreed and when he came back with Pancho they wrestled the little monster to the floor and tied him up. Then they hauled him into the storage shed where he'll stay until we figure out what to do with him. There's no sense calling the Policia because the bars in the jail are too far apart to hold him. Mr. Potatohead wants to take him fishing. With cement boots. I'm not sure why he would take him fishing so I said no. The cement boots make sense. That way he can't run. We're really stuck for ideas. Well I better run. Kim's hollering for some breakfast. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Disturbing behavior

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. Paco is really becoming troublesome. I thought he was just being a rambunctious boy but I think it's gone beyond that now. His once humorous pranks and practical jokes have taken an evil twist. He used to laugh when somebody would give Mr. Potatohead a punt because of his kick me signs but look what it's evolved into! Oh my goodness! He's also taken to hurting his brother. I just don't know what makes that boy the way he is but it has to stop. Everybody is scared of him and if Mr. Potatohead tries to discipline him he just laughs. I don't even recognize my own boy anymore. Oh well, I'm sure he'll grow ino a fine young fellow. We just have to encourage him and support him, teach him right from wrong, and he'll be fine. Oh! You won't believe what ELSE happened! French Frieda kept sending emails saying she was out of jail, that we'd better be careful. That worried me so I sent Pancho Vanilla to Tijuana to check out the jail and it turns out she's still there, she's just trying to scare us. He didn't see her little monster, though, which seems strange. Oh, well, at least that horrid French Frieda is safely behind bars. Hopefully for a long, long time. Well, I better run, Pablo is screaming and the lights have gone out. Sheesh! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Paco's worrying us

Hi everybody. Well you won't believe what happened. I don't believe it myself. Mr. Potatohead took a nasty tumble down the stairs yesterday. I know that's not hard to believe but he claims little Paco pushed him! Paco says he didn't that he actually tried to help when he saw Mr. Potatohead start to fall. I know Paco is no angel but I don't believe for one minute that he would intentionally try and hurt his father! Other than that little episode there's really been nothing that's out of the ordinary. Well, other than the grafitti, that is. He's just being a boy. He is full of harmless pranks and it's really quite funny, but I'm sure glad Pablo is better behaved. Can you imagine if they were BOTH such a handful? I gotta run I smell smoke!

Mrs. Potatohead

Proud Papa

Hi everyone! Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening now. Poor Mr. Potatohead. Those boys are really keeping him occupied. We decided to name them Paco and Pablo. Pablo is quite calm and quiet but that Paco! He's a little prankster and he's into everything. Mr. Potatohead tries to keep him in sight and under control but he has trouble telling them apart. He thinks he's watching Paco play with his toys but then he turns around and there he is up a tree! He gets so frustrated! Finally he went out and bought a couple hats for them so he could tell the difference but now as soon as he turns his back Paco switches hats or just takes them both and throws them over the railing. What a little hellion. He's just like his father was when he was a boy. Always getting into some kind of trouble. Come to think of it Mr. Potatohead is STILL like that! Oh my! I hope Paco out-grows it. Mr. Potatohead wants to take them to the beach but I don't know. That might be a dangerous place for the boys. That Paco is so hard to control. Well I better get going. Kim wants me to make lunch now. Bye for now

Mrs. Potatohead.

Mass confusion

Hi friends. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. I was going through a book of baby names when there was a knock at the door. I answered it and in rushed a sobbing Mexican lady who said her name was Maria. She said a bunch of stuff in Spanish that I couldn't understand and then grabbed my baby by the legs and started pulling!!!! I couldn't believe it! I had no idea what she was doing and I tried to hang on but I was so scared the baby would get hurt in the tug-of-war that I finally let go. I thought maybe Maria just wanted to hold her or something. She kept talking in Spanish and then she took my baby and ran out the door saying something about coming back. I screamed for Mr. Potatohead but he was still in his depression from the previous day and didn't even seem to care. I was devastated! I cried and cried for a couple hours until there was another knock at the door. I opened it again and there stood Maria with two little Potatoheads!!!! Then I understood. There had been a mix-up in the delivery room and we'd ended up with each others' children! I was so relieved! I was elated, actually, because I'd always felt that something about my baby wasn't quite right. The biggest surprise was when Mr. Potatohead heard what was gong on and got off the couch. His whole mood changed instantly from a deep depression to extreme joy. He mumbled something about Pancho Vanilla and an apology and then it all came to me. He thought Pancho was the father of our baby!!!!! Poor Mr. Potatohead. How he must have suffered thinking like that. He took to the boys instantly and now we're all over-joyed. We had Maria take a few family pictures for us then thanked her for everything and she was on her way. So everything turned out for the best and we ended up with a new friend and twins! What a wonderful ending to a painful day. Now we can start enjoying our Mexican vacation. P.S. Kim said she'll welcome the extra hands around the house and Dave said he might take us to the beach soon. I've never been so happy! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Proud parents

Hi everyone! Well you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. I went into labor! Mr. Potatohead got the word and promptly checked himself out of rehab and hitch-hiked home to be with me. He was so cute. A real nervous daddy, I must say. He was pacing around the maternity ward all morning tickling all the new-borns until they started crying and security kicked him out of the hospital. He went home and waited patiently for me to arrive. Finally I came in the door and woke him up on the couch to show him our beautiful new daughter and he flipped!!!! He said "I'm gonna kill that Pancho Vanilla! I knew I couldn't trust him!" Then he charged out of the house in a rage and took off down the street! I don't know what Pancho did to upset him so badly but was he ever mad! He came back about an hour later and didn't say a word, he's been sitting around drinking beer, moping and mumbling to himself ever since. He's just so angry and he won't even look at his daughter. I tried to talk to him to find out what was wrong but he won't talk. He just keeps cursing Pancho. I said we have to name our baby and he said "Why don't you just call her Panchita?" I don't know what he meant by that. I've seen him like this before and I know it won't last. I just wish he'd snap out of it so we can start our new life with our beautiful little girl. Well she's crying now so I'd better go feed her. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Gettin' help

Hi everyone. Well' I'm all alone again and you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. Mr. Potatohead and I were lying in bed enjoying some much needed pillow talk when he told me about the French Frieda caper. He said that in actual fact he and Pancho Vanilla DID commit those terrible crimes but he said it didn't really count because they were drunk!!!! I couldn't believe it! Then he went on to say how he and Pancho, while in hiding from the Mexican authorities had spotted French Frieda and her horrible little freak in town. They ended up hatching a plan to hang the whole thing on French Frieda! Now you have to realize that I would never condone such behavior, but because the victim was French Frieda I was torn (for the first time in my life) between right and wrong. After agonizing over it I decided that I couldn't turn Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla in but I would definitely put my foot down about the constant drinking. I told him "Alcohol is no excuse for breaking the law and it has to stop". He sullenly agreed to get help, that he couldn't do it on his own. So the reason I'm alone again is that yesterday after breakfast we went to La Paz and signed him in at Alcoholcs Anonymous. The unfortunate thing is they have to keep him there for a few days to dry him out before they can pronounce him cured. We agreed that it was necessary and that he would be ok there for a few days. It was a little sad coming home all alone but I know it's for the best. Well I better get going, I'm getting some tummy cramps again. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.