Friday, May 30, 2008

The long journey home

Good morning everybody! Well you aren't gonna believe what happened! Last night at 2:00 in the morning there was an awful commotion at the door so I got up to check what it was. When I opened the door, there stood Mr. Potatohead. He never looked so good! Sure he was banged up a bit, he had a few bruises and his shoes were wet but he looked soooooo good. I was so happy I almost fainted. I hurried him inside and got him into some warm clothes and we had a cup of tea (well I had tea, Mr. Potatohead had beer) and he told me about his 24 hours on the river. He said he had nearly caught the squirrel, he actually had him by the tail for a second but the squirrel jerked free and Mr. Potatohead slipped and skidded down the steep bank to the river. He said it was the coldest he'd ever been in his life.He said he drifted and swam for quite a ways before he could make his way toward shore. By the time he got ashore he was completely exhausted. He said that when he finally dragged himself out of the water he fell asleep for several hours. Probably about the time everyone was searching and calling for him. Waking somewhat refreshed but still cold and wet he decided to build himself a raft out of old drift-wood he scavenged along the riverbank.He then rode his raft for many miles until it capsized on a rock and once again he was in the river. He managed to get out at a bridge where a main highway crossed so he got up onto it and began hitch-hiking.He said nobody would pick him up until he finally dried off. I guess they didn't want musty old potato smell in their cars. Who can blame them? He finally got a ride with a guy who he claims invited us all on an adventure in a couple weeks! He wouldn't say what it was, it's a surprise, but we're all very excited. Oh! Today Dave and Kim are taking us boating! We're going to spend the night and come home tomorrow. It's all so exciting! Little Pablo is beside himself! Bye for now!

Mrs. Potatohead

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lost on the river

Hi folks. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened. This morning Little Pablo and I headed down to the river just below where Mr. Potatohead disappeared. It was quite a climb down a very steep hill but we finally got to the bottom and we saw the marks where he skidded all the way to the river. We called and called for him but we got no answer. After several hours of scouring the riverbank we were about to give up when his hat and an empty Corona bottle drifted by in the current. That was so hard to watch. We managed to grab his hat but we found no other sign of him anywhere. Finally we gave up and climbed back up the cliff to the campground. Dave was sad to hear that we had no luck finding Mr. Potatohead and he called Search and Rescue and asked them to send a search party. They did and they floated the river for hours but had no luck either. Finally Dave said it was time to go home and that Mr. Potatohead (if he was still alive) would have to find his own way home. We didn't want to leave him but we finally packed up our stuff and headed out. It was sure a quiet ride home. Pablo sobbed most of the way and I just tried to keep my mind off it by thinking about what Kim wanted done around the house when we got home. I sure hope Mr. Potatohead is OK. I miss him already and he's only been gone 24 hours. I hope he finds his way home. It must be awful being in that cold water all alone. I hope he's OK. I better get going. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Camping in the mountains

Hi everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened now. Remember how Dave was going to take us boating last weekend? Well it turns out that Kim forgot us at home so we never got to go. We were pretty upset until they announced this weekend that acampin' we would go! We were sooooo excited! Little Pablo was beside himself. We drove for hours and hours deep into the wilderness and finally arrived at our destination and Dave built a nice camp-fire.
We were having such a great time. Mr. Potatohead even befriended a little squirrel and spent all afternoon feeding him nuts and such. It was so much fun. He was really enjoying his new little buddy. We were just marvelling at how he managed to fit so much food in his little belly when he turned on Mr. Potatohead! Just a vicious, unprovoked attack. He knocked him down and proceeded to gnaw on his ear. We were all in quite a panic but finally he scurried off into the bush.Well we've all seen Mr. Potatohead's temper before so you might well imagine what happened next. Yes, he chased that poor little rodent everywhere, up trees, around the camp-ground, and finally through a fence near the river.That was last night. The last anybody saw of Mr. Potatohead he was heading through that fence hollering at the poor little squirrel. He hasn't been back since. I'm really worried now. I hope he didn't hurt himself. Well I better get going. Little Pablo and I are heading out in search of him this morning. Wish us luck. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A happy family again

Hi everybody! Well you aren't gonna believe what's been happening. It's been awhile but we finally got little Pablo back and we are so happy. It took a long time and after alot of begging and bribery Pancho finally rallied the troops in Mexico to go after French Frieda and get our son back. The Policia, it appears, felt they owed us all a favor after the false accusations back in Todos Santos in the spring. If they only knew.......Well after a month of investigation and surveillance work they made some surprising discoveries. It seems that her little freak couldn't handle the cold so they snuck Pablo out of Antarctica and back into Mexico where they had planned on living forever in the sunshine off the ransom money they would collect. HA! We sure showed them. After a brief skirmish French Frieda and her little freak were apprehended and little Pablo was returned home to us. They are now rotting in a Mexican Jail. Crime certainly doesn't pay. Now we are looking forward to a summer in the sunny Okanagan.Dave says if the ice is off the lake by the weekend they might take us boating! Woohoo! I think we deserve it after all we've been through. Well I better get going. There's alot to do around here. Bye for now.
Mrs. Potatohead

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The more things change..........

Good morning everyone. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. First of all we got home from Mexico and were immediately put to work shovelling snow. That didn't surprise us much because Dave said we had done such a good job on the roof back in March. It stands to reason when you do a good job at something you're probably going to get that job from then on. It's good to keep busy though because I've been so worried about little Pablo and where he ended up. Until yesterday. When the mail showed up there was a two-page ransom demand from French Frieda and her little monster! Now we know what happened to Pablo. She wouldn't say where they were but I think because Mr. Potatohead pulled that Antarctica diversion that's where they might be. Poor little Pablo. He must be freezing. Mr. Potatohead has a plan though. He said that he was going to call up Pancho Vanilla. He said that he and Pancho worked so well together in the past that he believes they can do it again and hopefully get little Pablo back. Also Pancho has some friends on the Mexican Police force who may be able to help find them. I sure hope so. I hope Pancho gets here soon. Poor Pablo. He's just a youngster and he shouldn't have to endure all this. Well, I guess maybe he'll grow up stronger for it. Well I better run. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Home

Hi everybody. Well we made it home. It was sure a quiet flight though. We were so sad leaving Mexico and all our new friends. You aren't gonna believe what happened when we arrived in Canada. We lost Pablo! When it was time to leave Mexico we realized that Pablo didn't have a passport because he was born in Mexico and we never even thought to get him one. We decided it would be ok to just hide him in one of the checked bags. Well we got home and, naturally, the airline lost our luggage. We were frantic but we didn't want anybody to know Pablo was hiding in one of the bags so we had to keep cool. When the airline called yesterday saying they'd found our bags we were elated! Unfortunately the elation didn't last because the bag Pablo was in was empty. I don't know what could have happened to him. I'm sure he'll find his way home soon, he's such a smart boy. I miss him terribly. One good thing about leaving Mexico, though, is the fact that we are free of French Frieda again. Mr. Potatohead left a note on the door saying we had moved to Iceland or somewhere cold like that. That was such a good idea. He is such a smart guy sometimes. Well I better get going. I still have some unpacking to do. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Meanwhile and far away............................

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Finally, the beach

Hi everybody. Well, It's Thursday the 17th today and we have to go back to Canada and you aren't gonna believe what happened. Yesterday Dave took us to the beach! Yes it sounds exciting but let me finish. When we arrived at the parking lot we were sooooo happy! We jumped up and down and kicked sand as we walked down the path that led to the beach. But when we arrived our happiness fizzled fast. There was a big sign....BEACH CLOSED!
Mr. Potatohead and I were heartbroken as we dragged a sobbing little Pablo back to the car. Dave said he was sorry and that he knew of a quiet pool in town if we'd like to go there. Once again we were all so happy! Then off we went singing and dancing but alas, when we arrived, someone had drained the pool and left nothing but green sludge in the bottom. Once again Pablo was upset and Mr. Potatohead and I were helpless to do anything about it. Now I think I just want to go home and forget this Mexican vacation ever even happened. I don't know how we'll give French Frieda the slip but Mr. Potatohead says he has the perfect plan. We'll see. Well I better scram we have to get packed and we have a plane to catch. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Uncomfortable feelings

Good morning. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened! This morning Mr. Potatohead was up early having a coffee and reading the paper like he does every day. I don't know why, but he says he likes using his beer bottle, even for coffee and water. I'm not sure I believe that but we ARE on holidays so I guess it's only natural to drink a little more than usual.I could hear him laughing at the funnies like he always does. He says he loves how those make believe characters can find themselves in such predicaments. Anyway, he was chuckling away and I heard him gasp. Then silence. I hurried over to him to see what was wrong and there it was, the news headline..."French Frieda released due to lack of evidence." I was mortified! Now her and that little freak are on the loose again! I wonder if we'll EVER be free of them. That would explain how that little monster escaped from the shed! Then I got to thinking....I've had some weird feelings around here the last couple of days. Almost like someone was in the room with me.......I'm sure it's just an over active imagination, only now it's made worse knowing French Frieda is free again. I just hope she isn't too angry about Mr. Potatohead and Pancho Vanilla framing her that time. She did deserve it after all she's done. Anyway, on a lighter note, Dave's taking us to the beach this afternoon! Kim says we better make sure our chores are done first though. All I have left is some sweeping so that won't be a problem. The sad part of it all is tomorrow we have to go home to Canada. It seems like this trip has just been one long nightmare. Oh well, today we'll be on the beach and that makes it all worthwhile. I just hope that lousy French Frieda doesn't show up in the meantime to ruin it all. Silly me, I'm sure she won't. I just have trouble staying positive sometimes.Well I better go finish my sweeping. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Monday, April 14, 2008

A good day gone bad

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happened. Yesterday started out as a wonderful day. Our new friend Maria stopped by for tea in the morning with her little girl. Her name is Juanita and my, how she's grown. She's such a pretty little girl. Well Juanita and Pablo took to each other instantly. They played all morning while Mr. Potatohead checked on that horrid little monster out in the shed. He took him some bread and water and checked that he was well tied. He tried to interrogate him about French Frieda and what she may have up her sleeve but the little creep wouldn't talk so he just left him there and came back in to play with the kids. They all get along so well. After lunch Maria and Juanita left and I cleaned up after everybody while Mr. Potatohead went out to the shed again. When he came back he looked like he'd seen a ghost! I've never seen him so white! He was shaking uncontrollably as he told me what happened. That nasty little monster had escaped! Mr. Potatohead said he KNEW he should have taken him fishing. Now we're worried sick because we don't know where he might be and we're SURE he'll be back looking for revenge. Oh my! Well I better go. I have dishes in the sink.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Friday, April 11, 2008

The transition

Hi all. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened. I'm so shaken I can hardly function. I've never been one to believe in the paranormal but now I'm a believer. I had the most terrifying experience of my life. And it ended with me losing a son. I am so terribly crushed. Apparently we never really had twins at all! And here's how it happened....
Mr. Potatohead and I were keeping close tabs on little Paco because he was becoming such a concern. We were peeking through the keyhole in his door and we saw the most horrendous sight! Smoke started coming up around him and he started uttering the nastiest profanities. Most of it in a deep growl, and in a language we couldn't understand. Then his whole body started twitching! Then he turned bright red, he started salivating, and his eyes started spinning! Then the shaking and twitching started slowing down and his color started to return. And then! And then! Then the smoke started to clear, and out came that horrid little creature of French Frieda's! We were devastated! Absolutely devastated! Mr. Potatohead wanted to tackle him right away but I told him to go find Pancho Vanilla for some help. He agreed and when he came back with Pancho they wrestled the little monster to the floor and tied him up. Then they hauled him into the storage shed where he'll stay until we figure out what to do with him. There's no sense calling the Policia because the bars in the jail are too far apart to hold him. Mr. Potatohead wants to take him fishing. With cement boots. I'm not sure why he would take him fishing so I said no. The cement boots make sense. That way he can't run. We're really stuck for ideas. Well I better run. Kim's hollering for some breakfast. Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Disturbing behavior

Good morning everybody. Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening. Paco is really becoming troublesome. I thought he was just being a rambunctious boy but I think it's gone beyond that now. His once humorous pranks and practical jokes have taken an evil twist. He used to laugh when somebody would give Mr. Potatohead a punt because of his kick me signs but look what it's evolved into! Oh my goodness! He's also taken to hurting his brother. I just don't know what makes that boy the way he is but it has to stop. Everybody is scared of him and if Mr. Potatohead tries to discipline him he just laughs. I don't even recognize my own boy anymore. Oh well, I'm sure he'll grow ino a fine young fellow. We just have to encourage him and support him, teach him right from wrong, and he'll be fine. Oh! You won't believe what ELSE happened! French Frieda kept sending emails saying she was out of jail, that we'd better be careful. That worried me so I sent Pancho Vanilla to Tijuana to check out the jail and it turns out she's still there, she's just trying to scare us. He didn't see her little monster, though, which seems strange. Oh, well, at least that horrid French Frieda is safely behind bars. Hopefully for a long, long time. Well, I better run, Pablo is screaming and the lights have gone out. Sheesh! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Paco's worrying us

Hi everybody. Well you won't believe what happened. I don't believe it myself. Mr. Potatohead took a nasty tumble down the stairs yesterday. I know that's not hard to believe but he claims little Paco pushed him! Paco says he didn't that he actually tried to help when he saw Mr. Potatohead start to fall. I know Paco is no angel but I don't believe for one minute that he would intentionally try and hurt his father! Other than that little episode there's really been nothing that's out of the ordinary. Well, other than the grafitti, that is. He's just being a boy. He is full of harmless pranks and it's really quite funny, but I'm sure glad Pablo is better behaved. Can you imagine if they were BOTH such a handful? I gotta run I smell smoke!

Mrs. Potatohead

Friday, April 4, 2008

Proud Papa

Hi everyone! Well you aren't gonna believe what's happening now. Poor Mr. Potatohead. Those boys are really keeping him occupied. We decided to name them Paco and Pablo. Pablo is quite calm and quiet but that Paco! He's a little prankster and he's into everything. Mr. Potatohead tries to keep him in sight and under control but he has trouble telling them apart. He thinks he's watching Paco play with his toys but then he turns around and there he is up a tree! He gets so frustrated! Finally he went out and bought a couple hats for them so he could tell the difference but now as soon as he turns his back Paco switches hats or just takes them both and throws them over the railing. What a little hellion. He's just like his father was when he was a boy. Always getting into some kind of trouble. Come to think of it Mr. Potatohead is STILL like that! Oh my! I hope Paco out-grows it. Mr. Potatohead wants to take them to the beach but I don't know. That might be a dangerous place for the boys. That Paco is so hard to control. Well I better get going. Kim wants me to make lunch now. Bye for now

Mrs. Potatohead.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Mass confusion

Hi friends. Well you aren't gonna believe what happened yesterday. I was going through a book of baby names when there was a knock at the door. I answered it and in rushed a sobbing Mexican lady who said her name was Maria. She said a bunch of stuff in Spanish that I couldn't understand and then grabbed my baby by the legs and started pulling!!!! I couldn't believe it! I had no idea what she was doing and I tried to hang on but I was so scared the baby would get hurt in the tug-of-war that I finally let go. I thought maybe Maria just wanted to hold her or something. She kept talking in Spanish and then she took my baby and ran out the door saying something about coming back. I screamed for Mr. Potatohead but he was still in his depression from the previous day and didn't even seem to care. I was devastated! I cried and cried for a couple hours until there was another knock at the door. I opened it again and there stood Maria with two little Potatoheads!!!! Then I understood. There had been a mix-up in the delivery room and we'd ended up with each others' children! I was so relieved! I was elated, actually, because I'd always felt that something about my baby wasn't quite right. The biggest surprise was when Mr. Potatohead heard what was gong on and got off the couch. His whole mood changed instantly from a deep depression to extreme joy. He mumbled something about Pancho Vanilla and an apology and then it all came to me. He thought Pancho was the father of our baby!!!!! Poor Mr. Potatohead. How he must have suffered thinking like that. He took to the boys instantly and now we're all over-joyed. We had Maria take a few family pictures for us then thanked her for everything and she was on her way. So everything turned out for the best and we ended up with a new friend and twins! What a wonderful ending to a painful day. Now we can start enjoying our Mexican vacation. P.S. Kim said she'll welcome the extra hands around the house and Dave said he might take us to the beach soon. I've never been so happy! Bye for now.

Mrs. Potatohead.